I ask, I get

I have heard that contracts for appearances are standard fare these days, though I guess it depends on who you are. When I am taken to the vet, groomer or a friend's house, I need a contract to list all my favorite treats....these should be provided without asking. There should be an abundance of those treats so I can enjoy my time away from home. A comfy bed would also be nice so I can relax.

So, it only goes that Hillary Clinton has a speaker's contract. Among the many stipulations are:
1. presidential suite at a LUXURY hotel of her staff's approval, with at least 3 extra rooms for staff and her advance team.
2. stenographer---no video or audio taping; text provided only to Clinton. Cost: $1,250 to be paid by event organizer or group.
3. photos---no more than 50 photos with no more than 100 people; 90 minute time limit on entire appearance and speech.
4. round trip air travel provided by Gulfstream G450 or larger ($39 million dollar plane!)
5. round trip business class for advance team, PLUS $500 stipend for meals and incidentals
6. no one else on stage during her speech; any moderators or introducers must be approved.

It seems I need some legal to help create my demand list.....